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Tips Beasiswa
Scholarship Essay
(scholarship.org)
Now we’re in the most anxiety-producing part of the
application process – writing the essay response. We
know that many people struggle with the writing process.
We also know that the requirement to respond to an essay
question that:
Might require research, e.g., the National Fire
Sprinkler Association requires you to do research on a
specific law then state an opinion.
Seems like one more school assignment in an already
crowded calendar, e.g., the Signet Classic Annual Essay
Contest asks you to read “The Picture of Dorian Gray” by
Oscar Wilde and answer a question such as:
Lord Henry Wotton is attractive to almost everyone in
the novel from Dorian Gray, who becomes evil, to Basil
Hallward, who remains principled throughout. What kind
of person is Lord Henry? Why is he so appealing to the
other characters? Support your answer with specific
references to the novel.
Asks you to talk about yourself in some broad or
narrowly defined way such as the all-ink.com $1,000
scholarship contest that requires a 50- to 200-word
essay on who has had the greatest impact on your life,
and a 50- to 200-word essay on what you hope to achieve
in your personal and professional life after college.
Developing an essay can be intimidating. Anne Lazaroney,
Guidance Counselor, says that students don’t know how to
begin writing essays and they are intimidated by the
competition, figuring that they can’t possibly write
well enough to win anyway, so why bother?
Let’s look at the facts. You are graduating high school,
right? Some set of educators apparently believe that you
are capable of putting together coherent thoughts on a
piece of paper. Plus, we already know that 90% of the
people who apply, valedictorians, creative writing
gurus, school paper journalists and just plain folks,
have already failed to get to the finalist circle
because they messed up the application. This information
suggests that you probably have a decent chance at
winning a scholarship if you put your mind to it.
Before we go any further, we should be clear on one
point: regardless of the theme of the essay, Dorian Gray
or fire sprinklers or anything else, the essay is really
about you. Clearly, The NFSA wants you to learn about
fire sprinklers and Signet wants to encourage enjoyment
of the classics, but more than anything else, the judges
want to know about you, your thoughts, your beliefs and
your ideas.
Most Students Don’t Know How to Start the Essay…
Guess what? Getting started is sometimes the most
difficult part of writing for professional writers as
well. However, never starts writing without doing a
couple of things first.
Understand the Purpose of the Writing and the Motivation
of the Askers
Analyze the question or topic
Write down the essay question. How many parts does it
have? Does the question suggest a structure or order,
such as first describe your role in… then tell why it
had the following effect… and what you learned from it….
Do you have to do research first or is this a question
that is strictly about you that will come from an
analysis of yourself?
Why have the judges asked this question or posed this
topic? Recognizing that all essays are about you, how
are the judges planning to get to know you through this
essay?
Analyze the Organization
What is this scholarship about? Who founded it? What is
the mission of the organization? Why are they providing
scholarship money? Who are the judges? What special
points of view do they bring to the judging?
How do you find out this information? Usually, you can
find a great deal of background from the scholarship
website or the printed material provided by the
scholarship group. Dottie Theriaque from the Community
Foundation says that if you have a question about
purpose or anything else, call and ask. Funders are
eager to help applicants; that’s what they are all
about.
In a phone call with Josh Barsch , founder of the Dale
Fridell scholarship, he was very clear in his
explanation that his scholarship group does not believe
that only valedictorians or super jocks or Ms. “I Belong
to Every Club” should get help going to college. Josh
notes that once you leave school, the only person who
will care about your GPA is you. You will success will
be based on what kind of person you are, how you
approach challenges and what your work ethic values are.
Your GPA may be some indicator of your potential, but
you will have to figure out how to reach that potential
and it’s that process that will set you apart. That’s
why the Fridell scholarship doesn’t request GPAs and
SATs and club lists. Kind of levels the playing field,
doesn’t it? Plus, if you are the valedictorian or the
super jock, the only message is that you are not solely
defined by that honor or activity. You are much more and
Josh’s contest asks you to go beyond the usual high
school achievement trappings and reveal more about
yourself.
Create goals for the writing
For example, your goal in responding to an essay might
be to:
Demonstrate personal traits in myself that are similar
to the personal traits of the person for whom the
scholarship is named. (The Brower Youth Award is given
in honor of David Brower, to “honor his lifetime of bold
action, inspiring mentorship, and principled
effectiveness which helped give birth to the modern
environmental movement.”)
Use present tense and optimistic phrases to show that I
am an active, vibrant, can-do person.
Show how my strong family support contributes to my
success.
Emphasize my sense of balance in academics and family
life.
Do these goals sound so generic that they could be
written for any essay? That’s not necessarily true. An
essay for a scientific award may not want to portray a
person as vibrant and can-do (and possibly lacking in
the self-discipline necessary for rigorous scientific
study) but instead as a diligent, highly curious person
with a passion for understanding why things work and the
patience to test all of the variables in order to come
to a valid conclusion.
Depending on the award and the personal circumstances, a
goal of the essay might be to demonstrate a commitment
to succeed despite unstable family circumstances such as
living in a variety of foster homes. Or, using a
different approach, a conscious choice to forego balance
between academics and family life to pursue a passion
for learning about gene mapping in order to search for a
cure for the multiple sclerosis that has made a family
member an invalid.
3. Develop a Theme
Some may argue that you should develop a theme for your
essay and then write goals. We believe that the opposite
is true. When you read an essay question, it may be
immediately apparent to you that the theme, or the
message that you want to convey, has to do with your
commitment to the healing profession as an extension of
your desire to better people’s circumstances. Wonderful!
However, if the theme of your essay is not immediately
clear, break down the work by establishing a set of
goals based upon your understanding of the essay’s
intent, the mission of the funding organization, etc.
These goals may lead you to one or more themes for your
essay. In the set of goals above, the theme that may be
emerging from the goals is an appreciation for the
family or the team as a cornerstone to individual and
group success. You can use your experience as a club
leader in developing a team approach and your decision
to ask members of your family to be on your college team
to proofread, edit and search for opportunities as ways
to show that you value working relationships and your
leadership style will be successful in inspiring group
success.
No matter which approach you take, goals first or theme
development first, the important take-away is to
establish a theme and goals and to be sure that the
theme and goals relate you as a person to the subject
you are writing about, even if the subject is a
character in an Oscar Wilde novel or a pending piece of
legislation.
Outline Your Response
Many people write by beginning anywhere with a free flow
of ideas that they then mold into an appropriate order.
Yes, that can work; you can occasionally start a project
by writing down random thoughts. However, we recommend
that you try very hard to approach your essay by writing
an outline of what you want to say. The outline will
assure that you have the right order and that you will
cover all of the points you want to cover. Outlining
does not necessarily mean that your essay goes into a
required chronologic order, for instance. Some stories
are best told by starting in the middle, then describing
how you got there and how you are going to go forward.
The outline will make it easier for you to move around
the timing of various parts of the story to get the most
dramatic effect.
There is a downside to the outline, we think. Sometimes
it is difficult to make the transition from one section
of the outline to the next, making the essay sound like
explanatory words hung on a frame, very skeletal in
effect. That’s why later in this chapter, we will pay
special attention to transitions so that your essay
flows well.
It’s Time to Write
Now it’s time to fill in that outline and tell your
story. We have chosen not to give you a lot of new rules
and directions in this section because we want you to
simply get the story out on paper. You already have the
basics- a theme in mind, a set of goals to meet and an
outline to work from. Do your best and we’ll meet you in
the next section to talk about it.
It’s Time to Re-Write
Leonardo Da Vinci and Michelangelo made dozens of
sketches before embarking on their masterpieces. Read
the biography of any writer and discover that everyone,
yes everyone, needs to re-write. You must do so because
this is not an e-mail or a last minute book report, it’s
a ticket to money if you do it right.
Show, don’t tell.
Go back through your essay. In every sentence where you
have told the judges something, is there a way to show
by example? Consider the following.
My family does not have a lot of money. I worked my way
through high school at Wal-Mart.
This is a good piece of information to share. However,
the message can be made more vivid by sharing more
detail.
My family does not have a lot of money. I worked at the
local Wal-Mart most evenings and did my homework on the
bus ride home or after work.
Much better. Now the judges know that you were very busy
and can feel the squeeze of needing to earn money and
still get your school work done. One more time.
My family does not have a lot of money. We work together
on a schedule so I can earn money for college and stay
on top of my school work. Most weekdays after school, I
attend one of my club meetings then catch the late bus
home. I usually finish my math homework on the ride. I
get home in time to grab supper ahead of time (Mom
always has something ready on the stove) then work on
other homework until Dad drives in at about 5:35pm. We
pass each other in the driveway, transferring keys and
information. (“I aced the math test”; “It needs gas on
the way home”.) The fifteen minute drive gets me to
Wal-Mart in time to punch in for the 6pm to closing
shift. On nights that the family needs the car, Dad
drives me both ways. I’m home again by 9:30pm, in time
to chat with my folks and watch thirty minutes of ESPN
before going to bed.
Now this is a cool guy in a great family. Everybody
participates, everybody cooperates. You can feel the
close timing involved in making this situation work. You
can hear the easy interaction of people who like each
other. You know that this guy is not a robot because he
needs a little human interaction plus a little TV before
starting over. We like him, don’t you? We’d like to help
out this family; they deserve it. Bingo!
Present Tense, if Possible
The present tense allows people to live the information
with you. It’s not always possible, but it’s a great
strategy when it can work. The above paragraph could
have been written in past tense, e.g., “Dad drove me
both ways.” It’s still a powerful sentence but it’s
already over. When Dad “drives”, we’re right there in
the car.
Kill the Adjectives and Adverbs
In his marvelous book about writing, The First Five
Pages, by Noah Lukeman, he suggests that you go through
your first page of writing (your whole essay, in this
case) and circle every adjective and adverb. Then see if
you can use a more descriptive noun or verb to make your
writing crisper. He uses examples like substituting “he
was a tyrant” for “he was a brutal man” or “he was
sprinting” for “he was running quickly”. Try it. Your
writing will be immediately refreshed by using fewer
words to do the job efficiently.
Make the Introduction Inviting
The introduction invites your reader to keep going. This
is not the place to summarize – why read the rest if you
get the picture in the first paragraph? Instead,
tantalize and encourage the next step. How? Use emotion,
raise a question, create surprise with a surprising
fact.
Here is a possible opening for a discussion of a
student’s work with a literacy program.
I am a literacy volunteer. I did not decide to do this
work because studies report that 21% of adults (over 40
million) in this country are functionally illiterate or
because 43% of people with reading deficiencies live in
poverty or even because 70% of people with reading
deficiencies have no job or only a part time job. My
reason for becoming a literacy volunteer was much
simpler. My Dad couldn’t read.
Okay, I’m hooked. I didn’t really know how bad the
literacy problem is but, even more, now I need to know
if this person was able to teach her Dad to read and how
this person, with an illiterate parent, made it to the
point of applying for a scholarship and heading for
college.
Create Workable Transitions
Transitions are hard whether you are writing a speech,
composing an essay or trying to get your little brother
to go to bed. The trick is to show your reader where
they are going next and why it’s a logical next step.
Try not to use standard transitional phrases like,
“Secondly” or “As a consequence”. Try repeating the
prior thought and connecting to the next task. For
example, “Once I learned how to scale rocks on the
artificial rock face, I needed to try out my skills on a
real mountain.”
A Compelling Conclusion
As in the introduction, don’t summarize. Essays are too
short to need a review at the conclusion. Instead,
re-emphasize the main point or circle back to the
beginning and tie the loop. Consider the literacy
introduction. The body of the essay should have been
about the student, her efforts as a volunteer, her
feelings about the difficulties faced by those who can’t
read, her recognition of the gift that reading is and
her decision to pursue a teaching career as a result of
her experience. This story begs for a conclusion that
answers the question, “Did her Dad learn to read?” Some
possibilities.
Dad may never read Dostoyevsky but we are both thrilled
that he can now read his sister’s letters from his
hometown in Romania and doesn’t have to pretend to read
the newspaper anymore.
Dad never did learn to read. But through his struggle, I
learned that I want to give the gift of literacy to
others, the gift that no one has been able to give to my
Dad.
Very different endings but in each, we hear the effect
that the experience has had on the writer. That’s the
point. We gained insight into this woman’s life through
her writing.
Take a Breather
After you write and revise your essay, you need to take
a break from it so that you can return with a fresh set
of eyes. It’s amazing how the sparkling prose you
thought you wrote turns out to need a lot more work once
you’ve gotten a little distance. Even more amazing is
the realization that some of your writing is actually
much better than you expected, now that you’ve followed
some very standard writing rules.
Use Outside Readers
Ask people to read your essay and help you with honest
feedback. Ask them what they liked most and least. Ask
if the essay is written in a logical fashion with
reasoning that is supported by examples or other proof.
Ask your readers to correct typos, grammar, etc. Every
new pair of eyes helps.
I’m Not That Interesting!
You don’t need to have an illiterate father or wage a
battle against cancer to write an interesting essay. The
guy who is working at Wal-Mart probably feels that he
doesn’t have time to be interesting; he’s too busy
working! Everybody’s life has interest and every essay
topic can be made compelling by looking at how that
topic affects the human condition and how you fit into
that human condition.
Congratulate Yourself
The essay is by far the most difficult part of the
application. You have overcome the biggest obstacle to
applying for a scholarship.
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